â€¢Â What is my goal?Â For each question, jot down what you areÂ reallyÂ looking for. Are you looking for a lifelong partner, just a date on Valentineâ€™s Day, or for your marriage to work? Many â€œserial datersâ€ and â€œtwice married men and womenâ€ claim they want the real thing; however, often their behavior indicates the opposite. Singles and couples must be honest with what is in their hearts, Quansah declares. â€¢Â What am I doing to achieve my goal?Â Striking a balance is important. Doing too much, like spending a lot of money on a new look or being too negative, can be relationship killers because they are not permanent solutions and this makes achieving your goal difficult. If youâ€™re act like yourself, youâ€™ll be more comfortable and self-confident â€“ and those are attractive qualities! Remember who you are and what you love, but donâ€™t be inflexible; love and relationship success are often about compromise. Taking note of what you have and havenâ€™t done, and evaluating the effectiveness of those strategies, are the key to dating, relationship, and marriage success. â€¢Â What might prevent me from achieving my goal?Â Fault finding in potential love interest or in a marriage, for example, can hinder the flow of success. Another obstacle may be placing artificial contingencies on your love connection, like comparing yourself to others, or unintentionally putting too much strain on your marriage. An objective, calm, and rational approach can help you map a course for meeting the man or woman of your dreams and achieving love relationship success. â€¢Â What methods have not worked for me?Â Mistakes are to be expected â€“ nobodyâ€™s perfect. But they should only be acceptable as long as youâ€™ve learned something from them. Look back and do a review. If you have approached dating or relationship success in ways that keep failing, it is time toÂ change! â€¢Â What methods have worked for me?Â Everybody has qualities that make them good at some things and not so great in other areas. Focus on your strengths; if you have used methods that brought you success in dating or in your marriage, you should use those methods because they will yield result. But do not be afraid to test the waters with new ideas. â€¢Â What will it feel like when I succeed?Â If you cannot envision the taste of success, you may be less motivated to go the extra mile for true love. Think about how nice it would feel to have meaningful companionship, bring someone home to meet the family, and maybe even start a family of your own.
About Ernest QuansahErnest Quansah (www.